1. YOU’LL START FEELING UNPREPARED FOR ADULT LIFE
People will start talking about all of the graduate schemes they’ve applied for and how complicated the interview processes are and how excited they are to finally get stuck into the adult world of financing/recruitment/PR. You’ll be wondering how long that piece of cereal has been stuck to the sleeve of your favourite cardigan for.
2. EVERYONE AROUND YOU WILL BEGIN PANICKING
They’ll start volunteering for everything they can see and starting societies left, right and centre to bulk out their CV. Prepare for everyone suddenly telling you how ‘inspired’ they became when they were scooping stolen shopping trolleys out of the local canal.
3. EVERYONE WILL HAVE THEIR NOSES IN YOUR BUSINESS
All of your relatives, and even some of your ‘friends’ will start asking what your plans are for after uni, and you’ll have to resist the urge to punch them.
4. THE WORK WILL SEEM OVERWHELMING
You’ll have to start that dissertation, and you’ll be woefully unprepared. You know you should have done all the reading over the summer, but in reality you got 11 pages into Freud’s ‘Civilisation and its Discontents’ and gave up.
5. IT BECOMES HARD TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN STUDENTS AND SCARECROWS
Everyone will look worse and worse. It’s a combination of the past two years of solid partying, the sudden fear of failure, the terrible diets (brought on by said fear) and the fact that everyone’s too exhausted to give a damn anymore (you included).
6. THE PHANTOM STUDENTS REAPPEAR
That person you didn’t see for two years but whose name was always on the register will suddenly start showing up to everything, and often they are actually really smart and look very relaxed and cool and you’ll wonder if you were doing uni wrong this whole time.
7. YOU’LL BECOME VERY DEFENSIVE OVER YOUR SPOT IN THE LIBRARY
Even if its jammed in a corner and people clonk your shoulder with their bag on their way to the toilets – it’s your spot where you spend ten hours a day and you’ll be damned if you’re going to surrender it to a fresher.
8. YOU’LL DEVELOP A LOYAL GANG OF LIBRARY FRIENDS
You may or may not know them, you probably won’t speak more than a few words to each other in hushed whispers, but you’ll know they’ve got your back and will watch your laptop when you go and grab a coffee.
9. YOU’LL DEVELOP SOME CRAZY LIBRARY CRUSHES
Even on people you wouldn’t normally find attractive. There’s some weird reaction that happens when you’re trapped in a room with nothing but books and silent people for company, and it means you’ll come over all flustered when the guy three rows over with the ‘Geography Rocks’ rucksack makes eye contact with you.
10. YOU’LL ALSO BECOME A MASTER AT EATING SECRET LIBRARY SNACKS
Most uni libraries have rules that say you can’t eat inside, but you’ll learn that some snacks are quiet, not smelly and virtually undetectable. Even if you sometimes have to suddenly stash them when a librarian appears.
11. YOU’LL BE INUNDATED WITH OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE
Seriously, every other email that drops into your uni email account will invite you to a careers fair. You’ll go to one, pick up all the leaflets and all the free pens and leave about 60% convinced that you’re going to become a teacher at a disadvantaged inner-city school.
If you do manage to apply for some jobs, you’ll definitely be rejected from most of them and end up drinking several bottles of wine at 4 in the afternoon whilst crying into your shared uni cat as it struggles to get away.
Especially at the end of the year. There’ll be a sense of ‘I’m only going to be able to wear the same pair of pyjamas for two days straight and stay up until 5am eating bread from the bag for a few more months, so I’d better make the most of it’.